Death is a topic that often makes people uncomfortable. This discomfort often stems from a lack of familiarity, a reluctance to confront the reality of our mortality. It can feel abstract, a distant event that happens to others, until it unexpectedly arrives at our own doorstep. However, facing this reality can be a powerful way to appreciate the gift of life.
This guide draws inspiration from a poignant letter written by Simon Boas, offering a unique perspective on approaching death with acceptance and gratitude. It aims not to evoke discomfort but to highlight the profound blessing of being alive, urging you to embrace and savor every moment.
A Beginner’s Guide to Dying: Lessons from Simon Boas
In his letter titled “A Beginner’s Guide to Dying,” Simon Boas, diagnosed with advanced throat cancer, shared his reflections on life, death, and finding comfort in the face of mortality. His words, filled with honesty and a touch of humor, offer valuable insights for anyone grappling with the concept of death.
He begins with a wry understatement, comparing his situation to Emperor Hirohito’s admission that the war situation had “developed not necessarily to Japan’s advantage.” Boas acknowledges that his cancer situation had also taken a turn for the worse. Despite the aggressive treatment, the cancer had spread to his lungs, leaving him with a limited prognosis.
Yet, amidst this grim reality, Boas found solace in several things: the unwavering support from loved ones, his fulfilling work with Jersey’s Overseas Aid program, and three recurring thoughts that brought him joy and a sense of peace.
The Comfort of a Life Well-Lived
Boas first finds comfort in the realization that he has lived a truly remarkable and fulfilling life. He recounts his experiences, from dining with dignitaries to working alongside the world’s poorest. He mentions his adventures, including climbing the Great Pyramid and traveling across continents. He highlights his accomplishments, such as managing millions of pounds in overseas aid.
However, what shines through most is his emphasis on love. “Most of all, I have loved and been loved,” he writes. “I’m cocooned in the stuff; my cup overfloweth.”
He emphasizes that at 46, he has lived longer than most humans throughout history. He encourages readers to appreciate the length and quality of their own lives, regardless of their duration. He reminds us to seize the day and find joy in making others happy, a principle he believes is the secret to personal happiness.
The Mystery of Existence and the Power of Love
Boas’s second source of comfort lies in contemplating the mystery of existence. While acknowledging the uncertainty surrounding God and the afterlife, he finds it improbable that our existence is merely a fleeting moment between two eternities of nothingness. He suggests that the possibility of a benevolent creator is no more far-fetched than some of the complex theories in physics.
He also emphasizes the enduring power of love, suggesting that it is what will ultimately survive us. This sentiment resonates with the idea that our connections with others and the impact we have on their lives are what truly matter.
Heart shape in nature
The Unlikely Miracle of Being Alive
Boas’s final, and perhaps most profound, thought revolves around the sheer luck of being alive. He argues that to exist is to have won the lottery, citing the extraordinary series of improbable events that had to occur for each of us to be born.
He points to the precise balance of physical laws that allowed for the formation of stars and planets. He marvels at the improbable emergence of self-replicating life from inanimate stardust. He highlights the fact that matter somehow became conscious, aware of its own existence.
He emphasizes the improbable union of our parents and the even more improbable fusion of the specific sperm and egg that created us. He notes that even a slight variation in the circumstances of our conception would have resulted in a completely different individual.
Boas also acknowledges the good fortune of being born in a time and place of relative peace and abundance. He reminds us that even the poorest among us are wealthier than medieval kings in terms of access to essential resources and opportunities.
Dancing on the Tables: Embracing Life’s Exquisite Beauty
Boas concludes by urging us to appreciate the precious, unlikely, and beautiful nature of life. He reminds us that we are all “fine” – refined, unique, and finely crafted. He encourages us to be dazzled by our good fortune and to “keep dancing in whatever time I have left here.”
He encourages us to realize that we are “fine” in the sense of being exquisite. We should be dancing on the tables every day, celebrating the miracle of our existence.
Facing Death, Embracing Life
Simon Boas’s “A Beginner’s Guide to Dying” offers a powerful perspective on facing death with acceptance and gratitude. By acknowledging the inevitability of mortality, we can cultivate a deeper appreciation for the gift of life and find comfort in the knowledge that we have lived a meaningful existence. His message encourages us to savor every moment, embrace the beauty of life, and dance on the tables, celebrating the miracle of being alive.
