Flirting can be daunting. If you’re not naturally gifted at charming guys with a simple bend and snap, you’re not alone. Instead of resorting to self-deprecating humor, let’s explore how to initiate a connection.
While waiting for a fairytale romance might seem appealing, it’s time to take charge. Stop treating dating like a school dance and actively engage in the art of flirting. Here are some tips to help you navigate this exciting world and give you the best “a girl’s guide to guys.”
Ditch the Drunken Texts
Sending blurry, misspelled texts after a few drinks isn’t flirting. The best romantic gestures aren’t composed while half-conscious in a bathroom. While it might seem quirky to text every contact in your phone late at night, resist the urge. Instead, order an Uber, eat some toast, and get some sleep.
Avoid sending unsolicited bedroom selfies. Waking up to a barrage of pictures isn’t flattering; it’s just plain weird. The response you’re hoping for probably won’t be the “Um, thanks?” that appears in your inbox at 7:32 AM.
House Party Hustle
House parties provide fertile ground for flirting. After navigating the crowded kitchen, there are plenty of opportunities to spark conversations. Accidentally ashing in his beer or “borrowing” his drink while standing close by are sure ways to get his attention.
However, the loose atmosphere of house parties can be a double-edged sword. After a few drinks, you might find yourself rambling about politics or your business ideas to a captive audience. Ask yourself: When was the last time this person spoke? How long have I been talking about my app idea? If it’s been longer than two minutes, you’re not flirting; you’re just being that high person who’s ruining his night.
Dating App Dilemmas
Flirting with strangers on dating apps can feel like being stuck in a mundane conversation. If you can’t even be bothered to wear pants while flirting, expect a few hours of mediocrity before meeting up and potentially disappointing each other in person. Welcome to modern dating.
Breaking the Mold: Daytime Flirting
The thought of flirting in daylight can be terrifying, especially if you’re from the UK. Your national character might prevent you from asking your crush to grab a coffee. Watching him use Tinder over his shoulder is one thing, but actually talking to him? Inconceivable!
The only socially acceptable public places for flirting are parks in the summer and pub gardens at other times. Even then, you’ll need a conversation starter, like a cute dog or a visible injury.
But consider this: Any guy who asks for your number on a crowded train is either incredibly annoying or potentially obsessed. Don’t stoop to that level.
Club Conquests: Navigating the Nightlife
Flirting on a night out is ambitious. You and your friends forming a circle around your handbags might be a spectacle, but it’s hard to break through.
When trying to make eye contact from across the room, remember that flirting in a club is all about proximity. You might end up following him around like a lost child. Aside from a few cigarette breaks and knowing glances, your best bet is to find someone willing to invite a large group back for an afterparty.
Mastering the Messaging Medium
Messaging is perfect for potential hookups, as it allows you to quickly Google his interests and fake enthusiasm. If your crush is a coworker, you’ll spend your day trying not to get caught searching for the perfect GIF. A well-timed sloth GIF is a millennial aphrodisiac.
Go multi-platform, but don’t overdo it. Avoid Twitter, which is only frequented by “gin enthusiasts” and people who wear slogan T-shirts. If you want to flirt on the phone, never leave a voicemail. Voicemails are for dads and appointment reminders. No one has ever left a successful flirty voicemail.
The Art of Denial: Ignoring the Obvious
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell when a conversation becomes a flirtation. If you’re talking to a single guy for more than three minutes, you’re a target. Despite knowing this, we often pretend we don’t notice, which can lead to uncomfortable situations, like a coworker’s clammy hand on your knee.
There are ways to escape the flirt zone. Drop the “boyfriend” bomb early on. Invent imaginary friends or fake a bathroom trip. Or, if you’re desperate, share a graphic story about food poisoning.
Overthinking Overload
The “seen” feature on messaging apps is the bane of flirting. You stare at your phone, breathless, asking friends if the flamenco emoji was too much. If you’re unsure if he’s flirting back, he’s not.
If you’re considering starting a text with “me again” or sending a “sorry wrong number” message, stop. You’re entering crazy territory.
Know that being “good” at flirting is a myth. If someone is interested, the silly things you say won’t matter. If he likes you, he just does, even if you have “daddy issues” written on your forehead in lipstick.
Go Get ‘Em
You’ve shaved your legs, applied perfume, and perfected your eyebrows. Don’t let your efforts go to waste. Get out there and own your flirt game.
If you’re waiting for a fairytale romance, remember that flirting doesn’t have to be difficult. A little rejection won’t hurt you, and you probably won’t be burned at the stake for trying.
And when he starts talking about a questionable chicken korma he ate last weekend, at least you can say you tried.
