Pronouns are fundamental to how we identify and refer to ourselves and others. Understanding and using pronouns correctly is a vital aspect of creating inclusive and respectful environments. This guide provides a comprehensive overview of pronouns, their importance, and how to use them appropriately.
What are Pronouns?
Pronouns are words that replace nouns, typically proper names. Common examples include “she/her,” “he/him,” and gender-neutral pronouns like “they/them” or “ze/zir.” Some individuals may use specific pronouns, any pronouns, or no pronouns at all. For example: Alex is joining the team, and they are an excellent programmer.
The use of singular “they” has a long history in the English language. If you find it challenging, remember that practice is key.
Image shows a set of soft touch pronoun buttons from GLSEN, including options like “he/him,” “she/her,” and “they/them,” used to indicate personal pronouns.
Why Pronouns Matter?
Sharing pronouns has become increasingly common in introductions, name tags, and meetings. This practice allows individuals to self-identify and prevents assumptions about their identity or pronouns. Respecting someone’s pronouns is a fundamental step towards acknowledging their identity and fostering a welcoming atmosphere for everyone, regardless of gender.
Inclusivity and Pronouns
While pronouns often signify gender identity, this is not always the case. We should avoid assuming someone’s gender identity based on their appearance or expression (clothing, hairstyle, mannerisms, etc.). By allowing people to share their pronouns, you acknowledge that their gender identity is not based on assumptions of appearance.
Choosing Not to Share Pronouns
Providing a space for pronoun sharing doesn’t mean everyone must participate. Some people may choose not to share for various reasons: they may be questioning, using different pronouns, preferring no pronouns, feeling uncomfortable, or fearing harassment. If someone omits pronouns from their name tag or chooses not to share, refrain from using pronouns and refer to the person by what is on the name tag.
Mistakes and Misgendering
Misgendering is when someone is labeled as a gender different from their own. Since pronouns are often associated with gender identity, using the wrong pronouns, intentionally or unintentionally, is a form of misgendering. If you make a mistake, apologize briefly (or say “thank you” if corrected) and immediately use the correct pronoun.
For example: This is Chris, he is the new project lead. (Corrected: Chris uses they/them pronouns). Sorry, they are the new project lead. Or, Thank you, they are the new project lead.
Mistakes happen, but it’s important to take responsibility and correct yourself. Avoid burdening transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming individuals with your guilt or expecting immediate forgiveness. They may need space to process their reaction to the misuse of their pronouns.
From Preferred Gender Pronouns (PGP) to Pronouns
The term “preferred gender pronoun” (PGP) has largely been replaced by simply “pronoun.” This shift recognizes that pronouns are not just a preference; they are the pronouns that must be used. Similarly, “gender” has been removed because pronouns don’t always indicate or reflect someone’s gender.
Show Your Support
Here are some ways to visibly show your support:
- Include “pronouns:” under “name:” on name tags and in introductions, providing an opportunity for individuals to share their pronouns.
- At the start of a semester, educators can call on students by their last names, accommodating those who haven’t yet updated their names in official systems. Offer students a chance to share their preferred name privately after class if it differs from the roster.
- Use 3×5 index cards at the beginning of a semester for students to write down their name, pronouns, and any other important information they wish to share privately.
The image demonstrates an example of including pronouns in an email signature, formatted as “Name: Mx. Marvel, Pronouns: They, Them, Theirs,” promoting inclusive communication.
Tips for Gender-Neutral Language
- Practice: Visualize the person using their pronouns. This is helpful right before meeting them.
- Address groups inclusively: Use terms like “siblings,” “third graders,” “students,” “friends,” “folks,” “all,” or “y’all,” instead of gendered language like “brothers and sisters” or “guys,” “ladies,” “ma’am,” or “sir.”
- Use descriptive language: If you don’t know a person’s gender, pronouns, or name, use descriptions. For example: Can you give this paper to the person across the room with the blue shirt and glasses?
Share this guide to promote understanding and respect for people’s identities and pronouns. Growth and learning take time. Educate, engage, and evolve!
