Astarion, the enigmatic vampire spawn companion in Baldur’s Gate 3, has captured the hearts of many players. However, unlike some companions, romancing Astarion requires a nuanced approach. This guide will illuminate the path to winning his affection, navigating his complex personality, and ultimately, deciding his fate and yours.
Whether you’re drawn to his shadowed allure or seek to guide him towards redemption, understanding Astarion’s desires and motivations is key. This comprehensive guide will provide you with the knowledge and strategies to successfully romance Astarion, ensuring a fulfilling and impactful storyline in your Baldur’s Gate 3 journey.
This guide contains spoilers regarding Astarion’s backstory and personal quests.
Finding Astarion: Your First Encounter
Your journey with Astarion begins early in Act One, on the Ravaged Beach. He is likely to be among the first companions you encounter after escaping the Nautiloid crash.
To find him immediately after the game’s start, head left towards the crashed Nautiloid ship. Enter the ship, navigate through (where you might encounter Intellect Devourers), and exit through the large hole on the opposite side. Astarion will be waiting atop a small hill, near some crates and a burning Nautiloid pod.
As you approach, a cutscene will trigger. Astarion, seemingly in distress, will ask for your assistance. Regardless of whether you agree or refuse, he will reveal his deception and attempt to attack you.
You have the choice to fight him or persuade him that you pose no threat. Ultimately, you will be presented with the option to recruit him to your party or dismiss him. Dismissing him is not permanent; you can find him again in Act One and invite him to join you later.
Raising Astarion’s Approval: The Key to His Heart
Astarion’s personality is shaped by his dark past and vampiric nature. Understanding his inclinations is crucial for building rapport and raising his approval, the foundation for a successful romance.
Here are key principles to keep in mind when interacting with Astarion:
- Embrace Pragmatism and Self-Interest: Astarion appreciates decisions rooted in personal gain and power. Choices that lean towards “evil” or self-serving often resonate positively with him.
- Avoid Pity and Sentimentality: He dislikes pity and finds excessive displays of empathy off-putting. Coddling or excessive sympathy will likely decrease his approval.
- Heroics with a Twist: While outright “goody-two-shoes” behavior is generally frowned upon, you can gain approval by helping others if there’s a clear personal benefit or reward involved.
- Respect Autonomy and Desire: Astarion values his independence and the pursuit of his own desires, including power. Avoid restricting his freedom or hindering his ambitions.
- Champion Independence: Actions and dialogue choices that emphasize self-reliance and independence, rather than dependence on others, will appeal to him.
The following table highlights specific actions in each Act that significantly boost Astarion’s approval (by +5 or more).
| Act One | Choice To Raise Approval |
|---|---|
| Druid Grove | Attack Nettie after she suggests poisoning yourself. |
| Druid Grove | Agree to side with the goblins and inform Zevlor of your decision. |
| Druid Grove | Attack the druids and tieflings before the goblin assault, and side against Minthara in dialogue. |
| Riverside Teahouse | Allow Astarion to kill Gandrel the Gur when you encounter him. |
| Riverside Teahouse | When fighting Auntie Ethel, let her escape (with or without Mayrina). |
| Riverside Teahouse | After defeating Auntie Ethel, resurrect Mayrina’s husband, give her the staff, and tell Astarion it was funny. |
| Blighted Village | Give the Necromancy of Thay book to Astarion after finding the Amethyst. |
| Blighted Village | Interrupt the Bugbear and Ogre in the barn or allow Astarion to do so. |
| House of Hope | When taken by Raphael, threaten him, demanding he fix things or face your wrath. |
| Goblin Camp | Agree to be tortured by Abdirak, the priest of Loviatar. Endure the pain without resisting. |
| Underdark – Festering Cove | Tell BOOOAL he is a fake god and threaten to kill him and take his power. |
| Camp – Feeding Night Event | Let Astarion feed on you without threats. In the morning, express trust in Astarion and dismiss any party member objections. |
| Camp – Random Dialogue | Share your preferred way to die with Astarion (decapitation, stabbing, or poison) for +5 Approval. Alternatively, threaten him for +4 Approval. |
| Camp – Celebration Event | Spend the night with Astarion during the Act One celebration and playfully offer your neck afterward. |
| Camp – About Cazador | After Cazador is mentioned, promise Astarion you’ll watch each other’s backs. |
| Act Two | Choice To Raise Approval |
| Last Light Inn | Refuse Jaheira’s truth-serum wine. |
| Moonrise Towers | Refuse to force Astarion to bite Araj Oblodra, asserting his autonomy. For extra approval, tell Astarion he never has to do anything against his will. |
| Shar’s Sanctum | Attack Yurgir (+5) OR persuade Yurgir to kill his minions and himself (-1 then +5 Approval). |
| Camp – Truth About Cazador | Agree to help Astarion hunt and kill Cazador. |
| Act Three* | Choice To Raise Approval |
| Circus of Last Days | Successfully complete the Trial of Love by answering all questions correctly. |
| Open Hand Temple | Finish the Cursed Monk questline and accept (and resist) the curse. |
| Wyrm’s Rock Fortress | Wake the Barracks Guards and taunt Fist Reynash about his poor guarding. |
| Blushing Mermaid | Compliment Auntie Ethel’s evil plan, then demand the child back, and mock her with Hag’s Bane when she refuses. |
| Szarr Palace | Persuade Astarion to reject the Rite of Ascension and allow the vampire spawn to leave for the Underdark with controlled hunger. |
| House of Grief | Choose to kill Viconia DeVir. |
| House of Hope | Refuse all of Harleep’s advances. |
*Note: Actions in Act Three typically grant +2 approval or more, with Jaheira’s truth-wine in Act Two offering +3 due to limited high-value options in that act.
Romancing Astarion in Act One: Laying the Foundation
Act One is crucial for establishing your relationship with Astarion. Your primary objective is to raise his approval to “Good” or the higher end of “Neutral.” You can monitor his approval level in his character sheet.
Once you reach “Good” approval and have had the initial encounters regarding his vampirism (either him biting you or confessing), you can initiate the romance during the celebration party at the end of Act One. This party occurs after resolving the Druid Grove situation (saving or siding with the goblins).
During the celebration, speak with Astarion. The dialogue options that lead to a romantic encounter are as follows:
| Dialogue Choice | Follow-up Choices |
|---|---|
| “It’s not that bad. Think of all the goblins that you killed.” | Take his bottle and try the wine. |
| “And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun’?” | “Knowing you, it probably is.” |
| “All right, let’s do it. I’ll see you later.” | “Maybe. If you say ‘please.'” |
| [PERSUASION 15] “Say ‘please.'” | |
Romancing Astarion during the celebration is not mandatory for initiating the relationship. If you haven’t pursued other romantic interests and his approval is high enough, he might proposition you at camp even if you miss the party opportunity. However, ensure this happens before progressing to Act Two and entering the Shadowlands.
During your night with Astarion, you can further enhance his approval by offering your neck to him. This act of trust deepens your bond without the risks associated with your initial encounter with his vampirism.
As long as you avoid insulting or attacking him, your romance with Astarion will officially begin after this night. You can inquire about the bite marks the following morning without negative consequences, provided you are respectful and avoid delving too deeply into his trauma prematurely.
Deepening the Romance in Act Two: Trials and Confessions
Act Two marks a deepening of your relationship with Astarion. Continue to nurture his approval, primarily through completing his personal quests and making choices that resonate with his values. Two crucial side quests in this act are:
- Araj’s Blood Request
- Kill Raphael’s Old Enemy
Additionally, a significant camp scene will trigger where you can investigate the markings on Astarion’s back, furthering his personal questline and subtly improving your relationship, particularly if you succeed on an Arcana check.
Araj Oblodra can be found in Moonrise Towers, in a side room to the left upon entering, within her alchemical laboratory.
When speaking with Araj while Astarion is in your party, firmly refuse to force Astarion to bite her under any circumstances. This stance is crucial for his approval and your relationship.
Kill Raphael’s Old Enemy is a more involved quest that significantly boosts Astarion’s approval and advances his personal storyline. This quest requires you to:
- Speak with Raphael at Last Light Inn.
- Find Raphael again outside Shar’s Sanctum/Thorm Mausoleum.
- Defeat Yurgir in Shar’s Sanctum or persuade him to kill himself and his minions.
Once Astarion’s approval is sufficiently high, a pivotal scene will occur: Astarion’s confession. He will reveal his initial intentions of using you and, if you completed the Araj encounter, express gratitude for your respect of his boundaries.
During this confession, be supportive and empathetic. Crucially, tell Astarion “I care about you.”
Following this, positive outcomes can be achieved with various dialogue choices, but the highest approval gains stem from:
- “Open your mind to him so he sees you care.”
- “Hug him.”
From this point onwards, you will unlock deeper, more intimate dialogues with Astarion, solidifying your romantic relationship. Patch 6 introduced enhanced animations for Astarion’s kiss scene, encouraging players to revisit these intimate moments and discover the new nuances.
Act Three: Astarion’s Fate and Your Shared Destiny
Act Three brings Astarion’s personal questline to a dramatic climax. Approval farming is likely no longer necessary; your focus should shift to Szarr Palace dungeon and the ultimate decision regarding Astarion’s future. For assistance navigating this dungeon, refer to dedicated walkthrough guides.
At the culmination of his quest, you face a monumental choice that will irrevocably shape Astarion’s personality and your relationship:
- Allow Astarion to Ascend: Embrace his dark side, leading to “Ascended Astarion.”
- Persuade Astarion to Reject Ascension: Guide him towards a more moral path, resulting in “Spawn Astarion.”
Each choice triggers a unique camp event with vastly different implications for your romance.
Ascended Astarion: Embracing Darkness
Ascending Astarion represents the “evil” path. He gains immense power but fully embraces his cruelty.
In his subsequent camp event, he will offer to transform you into his eternal vampire companion, transcending the typical spawn status. This culminates in a final, explicit intimate encounter.
As his spawn, you become subject to his control (though he claims he wouldn’t exert it). His ascended powers grant you the ability to walk in sunlight.
While your bond is seemingly sealed, choosing to become an Illithid later will break your relationship with Ascended Astarion, who will express disgust and disdain in the epilogue.
The Ascended Astarion epilogue depicts you as his vampire mate or consort, hosting lavish balls at Szarr Palace, focused on blood and political maneuvering. You become a power couple, dominating Baldur’s Gate.
Astarion isolates himself from other companions, considering himself superior. His demeanor mirrors Cazador’s flaws, yet he is undeniably confident and powerful. This ending, while morally ambiguous due to the Cazador parallels, is fitting for evil playthroughs or players who believe they can control Astarion’s darker impulses.
Spawn Astarion: Choosing Redemption
Rejecting ascension leads to a more tempered Astarion. He rejects Cazador’s path, embracing a twisted form of morality. As a spawn, he remains unable to walk in sunlight but gains an equal partnership in your relationship.
After defeating Cazador, a poignant scene unlocks at Astarion’s grave. Offer support and patience as he navigates self-acceptance. Accepting his vulnerability allows for an intimate night shared at his gravesite.
In the Spawn Astarion epilogue, he expresses that his happiness with you outweighs centuries of prior misery. He appears content, grateful, and wishes well for your companions.
Your shared future involves seeking a cure for his vampirism while utilizing his “talents” for good (targeting “the right people”). This ending suits redeemed Dark Urge playthroughs and “good” Tav characters, emphasizing Astarion’s redemption and a healthier, more balanced romance.
Choosing to romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3 offers a compelling and complex narrative. Whether you embrace his darkness or guide him towards light, your choices will shape his destiny and the nature of your bond, leading to a truly unique and memorable romantic journey.
