Life inevitably brings loss, and for some, like myself, it can feel like greeting death far too often. Losing my grandmother, mother, aunt, and a cherished cousin in quick succession by the age of 34 marked me as the oldest woman on my mother’s side sooner than I ever imagined. Tragedy struck again with my bio-dad’s suicide during my second pregnancy, followed by my brother’s suicide shortly after my father remarried. We also said farewell to my father-in-law and both of my husband’s grandmothers within a few years. These experiences, and many others, have profoundly shaped my understanding of life, loss, and the delicate art of letting go. Through it all, I’ve developed a personal approach to navigating grief and honoring the memory of loved ones, which I now call “Granny Leah’s Guide.”
One common thread I noticed during these difficult times was the overwhelming amount of possessions left behind. Exploring closets and medicine cabinets, spaces that seem to hoard memories and things for decades, I realized much of it hadn’t brought lasting joy or help to those who passed, often not long after they acquired them. My husband and I even joked about our home becoming a temporary storage for the departed’s belongings. Boxes and bags filled with items from loved ones found their way into our closets and attic.
Eventually, when I found moments of peace amidst the grief, I would revisit these stored memories. Holding each item, I sought a connection with the soul I missed so dearly. In those moments, I felt their love, their presence, and then, I could release the item. Surprisingly, I’ve kept very few physical objects from these significant people who remain a part of my being. Their material possessions, I discovered, were not what I needed. What truly mattered were the lessons they taught me, lessons that continue to guide me through life.
Perhaps I’m a unique kind of Marie Kondo, but my approach stems from a deeper place of loss and remembrance. I am Leah Muhlenfeld, and this is my guide – Granny Leah’s Guide to Letting Go. It’s about letting go of the physical presence of loved ones, while allowing their enduring teachings to illuminate your path and enrich your understanding of yourself and the world, as you continue your journey, alive. It’s about finding peace and gratitude in the face of loss.
Granny Leah’s Guide isn’t about discarding memories; it’s about cherishing them in a way that honors the departed and nurtures your own healing. It’s about recognizing that their true legacy lies not in their possessions, but in the love, wisdom, and experiences they shared. This guide encourages you to:
- Acknowledge and Feel the Grief: Don’t rush the grieving process. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, the loss, and the emotions that come with it. Suppressing grief can hinder healing.
- Connect with Memories, Not Possessions: When sorting through belongings, focus on the memories associated with each item, rather than the item itself. Does it evoke a feeling, a story, or a lesson?
- Listen to What They Taught You: Reflect on the values, lessons, and wisdom your loved ones imparted. How did they shape you? How can you carry their teachings forward in your own life?
- Let Go with Gratitude: As you decide what to keep and what to release, do so with gratitude for the role these items played in their lives and yours. Thank them for the memories and then, gently, let them go.
- Keep What Truly Resonates: There’s no need to keep everything out of guilt or obligation. Choose a few items that genuinely resonate with you, items that bring comfort, joy, or a strong connection to your loved one.
- Create New Memories: While honoring the past, embrace the present and future. Living a full and meaningful life is the greatest tribute to those we’ve lost. Let their memory inspire you to create new experiences and cherish the relationships you have now.
Granny Leah’s Guide is a gentle approach to decluttering after loss, focusing on emotional healing and honoring legacies over material possessions. It’s a reminder that while grief is a natural part of life, so too is the enduring power of love and memory. Letting go of things doesn’t mean letting go of the love.
Lotsa Love,
Leah
