Throughout the English-speaking world, many individuals experience stress, low mood, depression, or anxiety. It’s crucial to remember that you are not alone and that you can Have Someone Help Me Guide The Way toward recovery and well-being. Many have navigated similar challenges and emerged stronger. There is hope, and there is help available.
“I was lucky enough to be around other people who had survived being really down or living with big fears. I would look at them and think, ‘Well, you’re OK. You’re living your life’, and that gave me hope.” – Tania
This article aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of depression and anxiety, offering strategies for self-help and guidance on seeking support from others. It acknowledges the pervasive impact of these conditions on various aspects of life.
Understanding Depression and Anxiety
Everyone experiences stress, fear, worry, and sadness at times. However, when these feelings become intense or persistent, they may indicate depression or anxiety. These conditions often co-occur. Depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. Anxiety, on the other hand, involves persistent panic, unease, and excessive worry.
Key Signs of Depression and Anxiety
These conditions manifest differently in various aspects of life, impacting physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being. Recognizing these signs is the first step to seeking help and finding a path forward. When you are facing these challenges, remember that it’s okay to have someone help me guide the way through the process.
Physical (Tinana)
- Persistent fatigue and low energy
- Changes in sleep patterns (sleeping too much or too little)
- Changes in appetite (eating too much or too little)
- Slowed or agitated movements and speech
- Difficulty relaxing
- Physical symptoms like racing heart, chest pains, sweating, and breathlessness
Mental (Hinengaro)
- Difficulty concentrating and thinking clearly
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities
- Excessive worrying and fear of impending doom
- Feelings of sadness and hopelessness
- Feelings of shame, worthlessness, or failure
- Persistent nervousness and anxiety
- Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
Social (Whānau)
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Feeling misunderstood by others
- Feelings of emptiness and loneliness
- Desire for isolation
- Irritability and frustration with others
Spiritual (Wairua)
- Feeling a lack of purpose in life
- Feeling disconnected and numb
- Feeling detached from spiritual connections
- Disturbing dreams
Alt text: An individual depicted in a state of solitude and despair, highlighting the emotional challenges associated with depression and the need to have someone help me guide the way out of isolation.
Understanding the Causes
Depression and anxiety can arise from a multitude of factors, sometimes without a clear or singular cause.
Past Experiences
Adverse experiences, especially in early life, can increase vulnerability to depression and anxiety:
- Abuse, neglect, or family violence during childhood
- Traumatic events
- Family history of depression or anxiety
- Family history of trauma
Major Life Changes
Significant life transitions necessitate adaptation to new roles and situations, potentially triggering depression and anxiety:
- Becoming an independent adult
- Becoming a parent
- Coming out regarding sexual or gender identity
- Redundancy or retirement
- Relationship dissolution
- Bereavement
- Disability, illness, and aging
Life Stressors
Various stressors can contribute to depression and anxiety:
- Conflicts with family or friends
- Financial difficulties
- Relationship and/or sexual problems
- Accidents and natural disasters
- Work or school-related challenges
- Bullying and harassment
“I had low self-esteem at a young age. Anxiety. Panic attacks. And then not finding out until almost five years old that I actually had a hearing disability, and it wasn’t that I was a problem child.” – Vesna
Self-Help Strategies
Even when emotions seem uncontrollable, actions can be managed. Taking small steps can initiate a journey toward renewed well-being. It’s crucial to remember that it’s acceptable to have someone help me guide the way through these steps.
Talk to Someone You Trust
Connect with a trusted individual – a friend, family member, colleague, spiritual leader, or healthcare professional. They can provide support and offer advice, information, and practical assistance. Peer support, involving shared experiences and mutual assistance, can also be valuable. Trained peer support workers utilize their personal experiences to help others facing similar challenges.
“My father said only weak people seek help. But I knew I needed help. Now, how I stay well is by ringing friends and family.” – Gillian
Nurture Mental Well-being (Te Taha Hinengaro)
Consider these helpful approaches:
- Re-establish a daily routine by performing simple tasks
- Practice relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, or mindfulness.
- Maintain a gratitude journal, recording daily blessings.
- Delay major life decisions until feeling more stable.
“Writing down my thoughts greatly reduces my anxiety. One thought would lead to another thought and that’s why I got anxious. As long as I can do a reality check and know that everything is okay, then I can get through my anxiety.” – Kate
Prioritize Physical Well-being (Te Taha Tinana)
- Maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
- Engage in energizing activities, such as listening to music or taking a cold shower.
- Practice calming activities, such as drinking tea or taking a warm bath.
- Pay attention to dietary choices and their impact on mood.
“I can’t wait to go have some exercise to know how good I’ll feel afterwards.” – Vesna
Alt text: A woman practicing yoga outdoors, demonstrating a technique for improving physical and mental well-being, highlighting activities where it’s valuable to have someone help me guide the way.
Connect with Others (Te Taha Whānau)
Social interaction can accelerate healing. Plan social activities in advance and attend even when unmotivated:
- Meet a friend for coffee.
- Volunteer at a community center.
- Join a local group or club.
- Attend family gatherings.
- Spend time with children.
- Participate in online forums or chat groups.
“What helps the most are people who accept it, listen to me and support me. My partner and family, who are always there for me, no matter what. They give me hope and push me to keep fighting.” – Angela
Reconnect with Purpose (Te Taha Wairua)
Find meaning and purpose in life by connecting with spirituality:
- Engage in activities that foster connection, such as meditation or enjoying nature.
- Read inspiring material.
- Spend time in familiar and safe places.
- Consult a spiritual advisor.
“The whānau better understood what was happening for me than I knew myself, and they guided me through a process of kaupapa Māori healing. Mostly, reconnecting me with my whenua, my moana, my maunga and my marae, and guiding me through tikanga and matters of wairuatanga.” – Tania
Professional Support
Navigating emotional challenges can be difficult. Seeking professional assistance is a valuable step.
Where to Begin
Consult a general practitioner as a first step. Alternatively, one can directly consult a counselor, psychologist, or therapist (though this usually entails a cost). Your doctor can assess your condition and discuss potential treatments, which may include therapy, medication, or a combination. They can also guide you through self-care strategies. It is important to remember that it’s okay to have someone help me guide the way, whether that is a healthcare professional or a trusted friend or family member.
Maximizing Your Visit
To optimize your consultation:
- Request a longer appointment duration when scheduling.
- Invite a support person.
- Note any experienced symptoms.
- Document successful and unsuccessful coping strategies.
- If the current treatment is ineffective, explore alternative approaches.
Finding the appropriate treatment may require time. It’s acceptable to seek a different professional if the current one isn’t meeting your needs.
“My cousin, he gave me that kick, gave me that shove that I needed to talk to a professional person. I went and talked to a counsellor, and that was my turning point.” – Paul
Therapy
Therapy involves discussions with a trained mental health professional about life challenges. The therapist will help you identify effective strategies. Sessions can be individual or group-based, depending on preference. Therapies can include counseling and psychotherapy. There are diverse therapeutic methods, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Your therapist can recommend the most suitable method.
“I did a combination of group therapy and individual therapy. The group therapy was awesome for the fact that it made me realise I’m not alone.” – Gillian
Medication
Your doctor may recommend medication for depression or anxiety, which is often most effective when combined with therapy. The doctor should explain:
- The medication’s intended effects
- The timeline for effectiveness
- The duration of treatment
- Potential side effects and management strategies
- Safe discontinuation procedures
Medication may take weeks to take effect, and finding the right medication may require trial and error. Report any side effects to your doctor. Certain medications can cause withdrawal effects if discontinued abruptly, so it’s vital to consult your doctor before stopping medication.
“Medication formed one piece of my recovery journey. In the past, I’d expect medication to make me happy. Whereas this time around I expected it to be part of my support kit. It helped me to be able to think clearer, to understand what was going on and to do the work with my counsellor.” – Hannah
Alternative Treatments
Alternative treatments can complement or replace medical treatments. While scientific evidence may be limited, many find acupuncture, massage, or meditation helpful. Consult your doctor or pharmacist before using supplements, particularly if taking other medications.
Traditional Healing
Traditional healers provide rongoā Māori healing, which includes:
- Mirimiri (massage)
- Karakia (prayers and chants)
- Rākau rongoā (herbal preparations)
- Whitiwhiti kōrero (cultural support)
“I had to first connect with the wairua, through karakia, waiata, and also regular visits to the awa. The main thing I had to do was kōrero, talk and unload.” – Jamie
Online Tools
These resources provide up-to-date information and strategies.
Helplines
Numerous free phone, text, and online chat services connect you with trained health professionals and support workers. Whether you need advice for yourself or someone else, these services are available 24/7.
General Support
- 1737, need to talk?: Call or text 1737 for immediate support.
- Lifeline: Phone 0800 543 354 or text 4357.
Support for Children and Young People
- Youthline: Phone 0800 376 633, text 234, webchat at youthline.co.nz, or email [email protected].
“I rang the helpline when I was feeling suicidal. Somehow it felt safe to talk about it to a stranger who wasn’t in the same room but who you knew was a trained counsellor. The helpline person was amazing. She listened with compassion and guided me though what I needed to do to keep myself safe.” – Maria
Support for Specific Issues
Various helplines address specific issues.
Emergency Situations
In emergencies, call 111 or go to the nearest hospital emergency department.
Supporting Others
Recognizing when someone is struggling can be challenging, as can knowing how to help. Start by initiating a conversation, expressing that you’ve noticed changes and asking if they’re okay.
Offer support by:
- Learning about depression and anxiety.
- Involving the person in activities.
- Providing practical assistance.
- Reviewing self-help options together.
- Offering to accompany them to medical appointments.
Suicidal Thoughts
If the person expresses thoughts of suicide, take them seriously but remain calm. These feelings are common in individuals with anxiety or depression. It is helpful for them to confide in someone who cares and remains composed. If suicidal thoughts persist, they may need additional professional support.
If the person begins discussing the specifics of their suicide plans or appears to be preparing for death, act urgently. Discuss the need for support from family, a doctor, or a mental health crisis team.
If you believe they are in immediate danger, call 111 or take them to the hospital emergency department.
Supporting Yourself
Remember to prioritize your own well-being while supporting others.
“One of the most helpful things has been our determination to get through my daughter’s depression as a family. We spend a lot of time talking to each other and supporting each other. This has meant that we have never given up hope. The family has stayed together as a family unit and we are strong because of it.” – John
In conclusion, navigating depression and anxiety can be challenging. It’s vital to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone and you can have someone help me guide the way. By understanding the conditions, utilizing self-help strategies, seeking professional support, and connecting with others, individuals can embark on a path toward healing and well-being.
