NA Step 1: A Working Guide and Reflective Questions for Recovery

“We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.” This pivotal statement marks the initiation of recovery in Narcotics Anonymous (NA). The First Step isn’t just a stage; it’s a foundational beginning. It’s where healing commences, and progress hinges on genuinely engaging with this crucial step.

Individuals approach the First Step uniquely. Some navigate it intuitively, guided by their feelings. Others prefer a more structured and systematic approach. The motivations for delving into Step One are diverse. For newcomers, it might be the fresh aftermath of a grueling and losing battle against drug addiction. For those with sustained abstinence, it could be the unsettling realization that addiction has resurfaced in other aspects of life, compelling them to confront their powerlessness and life’s unmanageability anew. Growth isn’t always born from pain; sometimes, it’s simply time to revisit the steps, initiating another phase in the ongoing journey of recovery.

Finding solace in understanding addiction as a disease, not a moral failing, can be comforting. For others, the cause is secondary to the urgent need for change. Regardless of the path, engaging with step work is essential. It’s about undertaking tangible actions to gain greater freedom from addiction, irrespective of its current manifestation. The objective is to internalize the principles of Step One – deepening surrender and integrating acceptance, humility, willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness into our core being.

Surrender is the initial, vital point. This surrender can be reached through various paths. For some, the journey leading to the First Step is convincing enough of the necessity for complete surrender. Others begin this step without complete conviction of their addiction or having hit rock bottom. It’s through working Step One that the profound realization of being an addict, hitting bottom, and needing to surrender truly dawns.

Crucially, before embarking on Step One, abstinence is paramount. For those new to NA focusing on drug addiction’s impact, achieving sobriety is the first order. For those addressing addiction manifesting in other behaviors, ceasing the problematic behavior is necessary to ensure clear and unclouded surrender.

The Disease of Addiction

Addiction is defined by the disease itself, not merely substance use or behavior. It’s an intrinsic condition that impairs control over drug use and fosters obsessions and compulsions in other life areas. How do we recognize an active addiction? It’s evident when we’re ensnared in obsessive, compulsive, self-centered routines, cyclical patterns leading only to physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional deterioration.

What does “the disease of addiction” personally signify?
Has my addiction been recently active? How?
- Describe my experience with obsession. Are there thought patterns?
- Do I act impulsively on thoughts without considering consequences? Describe compulsive behaviors.
- How does self-centeredness, driven by addiction, impact my life and others?
- What are the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional impacts of my addiction?

Addiction’s manifestations are diverse. Initially, in NA, the focus is often on drug use. However, addiction can disrupt life in numerous ways.

In what specific way has my addiction most recently manifested?
Have I been obsessed with a person, place, or thing? If so, how has it hindered relationships? What are the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional consequences of this obsession?

Denial

Denial is the aspect of addiction that obscures its reality. In denial, the addiction’s impact is minimized, reality is distorted. We deflect blame onto external pressures from family, friends, or work. We draw comparisons with others perceived as “worse” addicts. Substance choice might be blamed. Those abstinent for a while may compare current addictive behaviors to past drug use, rationalizing current actions as less severe. A key indicator of denial is providing seemingly plausible but untrue justifications for behavior.

Have I offered plausible but false reasons for my actions? What were they?
Have I compulsively acted on an obsession, then pretended it was planned? When did this occur? How have I blamed others for my behavior?
How do I compare my addiction to others? Is my addiction “serious enough” without comparison?
Am I comparing current addiction manifestations to my pre-recovery life? Do I feel I should know better?
Do I believe I have enough understanding to control my addiction before it escalates?
Am I avoiding action due to shame about facing addiction’s consequences? Am I avoiding action due to concerns about others’ opinions?

Hitting Bottom: Despair and Isolation

Addiction inevitably leads to a point where denial is unsustainable. Lies, rationalizations, and illusions crumble as we confront the reality of our lives. Hopelessness sets in. We find ourselves isolated, relationships reduced to superficiality, devoid of genuine connection and intimacy. While this state feels like rock bottom, it’s a necessary passage before recovery can begin.

What crisis initiated my recovery journey?
What prompted me to formally engage with Step One?
When did I first acknowledge my addiction as problematic? Did I attempt to address it? How? If not, why?

Powerlessness

Reactions to “powerless” vary among addicts. Some recognize its profound accuracy and feel relief in admitting powerlessness. Others resist the term, associating it with weakness or character flaws. Understanding powerlessness, and its essential role in recovery, is key to overcoming negative connotations.

Powerlessness signifies that an uncontrollable force dominates life. Addiction undeniably fits this description. We lose the ability to moderate or control drug use or other compulsions, even when losing what’s most valued. We persist despite irreparable physical harm. Addiction compels actions contrary to our values, actions that induce shame upon reflection. Even with a conscious desire to stop, the ability to resist in the moment eludes us.

Attempts at abstinence without a program might offer temporary success, only for untreated addiction to relapse. Step One necessitates a profound, personal acknowledgment of powerlessness.

Over what am I specifically powerless?
What actions, driven by addiction, contradict my recovery-focused self?
What values have I compromised to sustain my addiction?
How does my personality shift when acting out addiction? (e.g., arrogance, self-centeredness, irritability, passivity, manipulation, whining?)
Do I manipulate others to enable my addiction? How?
Have I attempted to quit but failed? Have I achieved sobriety independently only to relapse due to unbearable life pain? Describe these experiences.
How has my addiction caused harm to myself or others?

Unmanageability

Step One requires admitting powerlessness over addiction and the unmanageability of life. These admissions are intertwined; unmanageability is the outward manifestation of powerlessness. Unmanageability manifests in two forms: external and internal.

External unmanageability is often evident through legal issues, job loss, and familial discord. Some have faced incarceration. Sustaining relationships may prove impossible. Some are estranged from family.

Internal unmanageability is characterized by unhealthy beliefs about oneself, the world, and relationships. Feelings of worthlessness, egocentric worldviews, dependence, and feeling overwhelmed by normal responsibilities are common. Emotional instability is a prominent indicator of internal unmanageability.

What does unmanageability mean to me?
Have I faced arrests or legal issues due to addiction? Have I engaged in illegal activities if caught? What were they?
What work or school-related problems has addiction caused? What family issues?
What friendship problems has addiction caused?
Do I insist on my way? How does this impact relationships?
Do I consider others’ needs? How does neglecting them affect relationships?
Do I take responsibility for life and actions? Can I manage daily responsibilities without overwhelm? How does this impact my life?
Do I crumble when plans deviate? How does this affect my life?
Do I perceive challenges as personal insults? How does this affect my life?
Do I maintain a crisis mentality, reacting to situations with panic? How does this affect my life?
Do I ignore health or children’s well-being, hoping things resolve? Describe.
In danger, have I been indifferent or unable to protect myself due to addiction? Describe.
Have I harmed anyone due to addiction? Describe.
Do I have tantrums or react in ways that diminish self-respect? Describe.
Did I use substances or act out to alter or suppress feelings? What was I trying to change or suppress?

Reservations

Reservations are mental loopholes for relapse, often subconscious. They might involve believing in partial control, like controlling drug dealing while acknowledging use is unmanageable. Maintaining friendships with past using contacts, believing program parts don’t apply, or planning relapse for stressful events are reservations. Reservations are hidden beliefs that must be exposed and eliminated.

Have I fully accepted my disease?
Do I believe I can associate with addiction-related people or places? Is keeping drugs or paraphernalia wise for “reminders” or testing recovery? Why?
Is there an event I feel I can’t face sober, necessitating relapse to cope?
Do I think sobriety duration or life changes will enable controlled use?
What reservations do I still harbor?

Surrender

Resignation differs vastly from surrender. Resignation is acknowledging addiction without accepting recovery as the solution. It’s feeling destined to be an addict. Surrender follows accepting Step One’s truth and recovery’s necessity. It’s rejecting the past and current state of life and feelings.

What are my fears about surrender, if any? What convinces me I can no longer use successfully?
Do I accept permanent loss of control, even after prolonged abstinence?
Can recovery begin without complete surrender?
What would complete surrender entail for my life?
Can recovery continue without complete surrender?

Spiritual Principles

Step One emphasizes honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, humility, and acceptance.

Honesty in Step One starts with admitting addiction and extends to daily honesty. “I’m an addict” might be the first truthful statement in a long time, leading to honesty with oneself and others.

If I’ve considered using or acting out, have I shared it with my sponsor or someone else?
Have I maintained awareness of my disease, regardless of sobriety duration?
Have I noticed reduced lying due to no longer concealing addiction? Do I value this freedom? How am I practicing honesty in recovery?

Open-mindedness in Step One means being receptive to a different way of life. It’s about willingness to try, even without full understanding. It’s not limiting oneself or thinking. NA suggestions like “surrender to win” or praying for resentments might seem strange. Open-mindedness is trying them without immediate dismissal.

What recovery advice is hard to believe? Have I asked my sponsor or the advisor for clarification?
How am I practicing open-mindedness?

Willingness in Step One is shown in various ways. Starting recovery despite doubts or incomprehension is an act of willingness. Engaging in recovery actions, like meeting attendance, helping at meetings, and connecting with NA members, demonstrates willingness.

Am I willing to follow my sponsor’s guidance?
Am I willing to attend meetings regularly?
Am I willing to fully commit to recovery? How?

Humility, central to Step One, is expressed in surrender. Humility is accepting oneself – neither superior nor inferior, simply human.

Do I see myself as a monstrous figure or inconsequential? Or somewhere in between?
What’s my sense of importance in my circle and society?
How am I practicing humility in Step One work?

Acceptance transcends merely admitting addiction. Accepting addiction brings profound internal change and hope. Peace emerges as we reconcile with addiction, recovery, and their significance. Recovery, meetings, sponsorship, and step work shift from burdens to precious gifts, routine life aspects.

Have I made peace with being an addict?
Have I made peace with recovery actions?
How is accepting my disease crucial for ongoing recovery?

Moving On

Preparing for Step Two, questioning Step One’s completion is common. “Is it time to move on? Have I done enough? Do I truly understand?”

Writing about Step One understanding is often helpful before progressing.

How do I know it’s time to move on?
What is my understanding of Step One?
How has prior knowledge shaped my Step One work?

Having acknowledged the failures of the past and embraced change, the richness of recovery life may still be unclear. Freedom from active addiction is a start, but the void once filled by addiction seeks fulfillment. Working subsequent steps will fill this void. Step Two is the next phase of the recovery journey.