Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and just when you think you’ve cleared one hurdle, another appears on the track. Remember celebrating your child learning to tie their shoes? Fast forward a few years, and you’re facing a new challenge: navigating the world of student essays and looming deadlines. Whether it’s a black belt essay for Taekwondo, a college application, or a scholarship submission, the stress surrounding these writing tasks can be palpable for both students and parents.
I recently experienced this firsthand when my son, after six years of Taekwondo, was invited to test for his black belt. The physical challenges? Bring them on. The sparring? He’s faced black belts before. But then came the qualification assignments: building an egg-carrying case (relatively straightforward) and writing a 3-5 page essay about his Taekwondo journey. Three pages?! The reaction was dramatic, involving couch cushions, throw blankets, and muffled exclamations of teenage despair. Sound familiar?
If you’re a parent of a student facing similar essay-related stress, you’re not alone. The pressure to meet deadlines, write well, and present their best selves can be overwhelming for students. As parents, we naturally want to help, but stepping in to do the work for them isn’t the answer. This “Carry On Parents Guide” is designed to equip you with practical strategies to support your child through the essay writing process while maintaining your own sanity. We’ll explore effective tips for students to improve their writing and, equally importantly, advice for parents on how to keep perspective and offer the right kind of support.
Tips for Students: Mastering the Essay Challenge
Facing a blank page and the daunting task of writing an essay can be paralyzing. Here are actionable tips to help students break through writer’s block and craft compelling essays.
Voice Recording: Unleash Ideas by Speaking
Sometimes, the act of typing or writing can feel like a barrier. For students struggling to start, verbalizing their thoughts can be incredibly liberating. Encourage your child to use the voice recording app on their phone or computer. They can simply talk about the essay topic – their experiences, lessons learned, key moments. This isn’t about creating a perfect script; it’s about getting ideas flowing. These raw, spoken thoughts can then be transcribed and serve as a fantastic starting point for their written draft. This technique is especially helpful for students who are auditory learners or who feel overwhelmed by the blank page. It’s a low-pressure way to generate content and discover their narrative.
Change of Scenery: Move to Overcome Writer’s Block
Staring at a screen in the same room for hours can stifle creativity. If your student is experiencing writer’s block, a change of environment can work wonders. Suggest they move locations. Perhaps the porch, a local coffee shop, or a park bench could offer a fresh perspective. A new setting can break the monotony and stimulate different parts of the brain, fostering new ideas and renewed focus. Just make sure their devices are charged and ready to go! Sometimes, simply being in a different space is enough to unlock their thoughts and get the writing process moving again.
Be Specific: Details Make Your Essay Memorable
Imagine an admissions reader sifting through dozens of essays daily. What makes an essay stand out? Specificity. General statements and clichés fade into the background. Detailed anecdotes, vivid descriptions, and personal examples are what capture attention and create a lasting impression.
Instead of writing “Taekwondo was challenging,” encourage your child to describe a specific challenging moment. When did they want to quit? What made it difficult? Instead of “I enjoy sparring,” ask them to recount a particular sparring session. Who were they sparring with? What techniques did they use? What was the outcome? These specific details bring the essay to life and allow the reader to connect with the student’s unique experiences and voice. Remind your student that admissions officers (or in my son’s case, his Taekwondo master) are looking for authenticity and a genuine reflection of who they are. Specificity is the key to achieving this.
Tips for Parents: Keeping Perspective and Sanity in the “Carry On Parents Guide”
Supporting your child through stressful academic tasks is crucial, but it’s equally important to maintain your own well-being and perspective. Here’s your “carry on parents guide” to navigating this process.
It’s Important, But Not Everything: The Real Weight of Essays
Yes, essays are a component of applications and qualifications. They are read, they are evaluated, and they do matter. Admissions officers are looking for well-written, thoughtful essays that provide insight into the applicant. However, it’s essential to understand that essays are often not the deciding factor, especially for students with strong academic records and extracurricular involvement.
For college admissions, factors like GPA, course rigor, standardized test scores (where applicable), and extracurricular impact often carry more weight. Essays serve to complement these aspects, adding depth and personality to the application. A solid student with good grades and meaningful extracurriculars isn’t likely to be rejected solely because of their essay, as long as it’s reasonably well-written and demonstrates effort.
Similarly, for my son’s Taekwondo black belt essay, while his master will read it and it needs to be thoughtful, the ultimate decision will hinge on his Taekwondo skills and performance. The essay is part of the process, but not the sole determinant.
Understanding this broader context can alleviate pressure for both you and your child. The goal is for your child to put in their best effort and write a good essay, but it’s not the end-all-be-all.
The Off-Speed Pitch: Communicate with Love and Support
When deadlines loom and stress levels are high, direct confrontation or nagging about essay progress can backfire. Instead of repeatedly asking “Have you finished your essay yet?”, try a different approach – the “off-speed pitch.”
Consider writing your child a letter. Yes, a handwritten letter. In today’s digital age, a handwritten letter is a powerful and unexpected gesture. Keep it simple and heartfelt. Express your love and pride in their efforts. Acknowledge the hard work they’ve put in and your desire for them to succeed. Offer your support without pressure. Let them know you’re there to help if they need it, but also recognize their growing independence as they prepare for college or future endeavors.
This letter serves as a gentle reminder of your support and care, without adding to the pressure they already feel about the essay itself. It opens a line of communication based on love and encouragement rather than nagging and deadlines. After writing the letter, give it to them and then, importantly, step back. Allow them to process it on their own terms. And for yourself? A glass of wine and a walk might be in order – a crucial part of your “carry on parents guide” for self-care.
Alt text: Simone Biles, renowned gymnast, performs a flip before throwing the first pitch at Game 2 of the 2019 World Series, showcasing skill and composure under pressure.
The essay writing process, like parenting itself, is about guiding and supporting your child as they learn to navigate challenges and develop their own skills. It’s about helping them “carry on,” not by doing the work for them, but by providing the tools, encouragement, and perspective they need to succeed – and by remembering to “carry on” ourselves with grace and a little self-care along the way.
